Here and Now

To be perfectly honest, I am no where near where I want to be with my equestrian career…. I am extremely ambitious and competitive. I long to be on the road traveling to horse shows all over the country. However, my small bank account is what has me tethered back from my goals. It is often very frustrating to know that money is the main thing holding me back. I can’t afford a super fancy horse that will win everything at ‘A’ and ‘AA’ shows; and even I could, I can’t really afford to go to ‘A’ and ‘AA’ shows right now.

But… I do have a horse. He may not be the fanciest, but he is talented. I can afford schooling shows, which is better than not showing at all! A few years ago, I could not have even managed that. I think back three or four years, and I remember that I would have given anything to be able to have a horse – rather than just riding the horses of others. I would have given anything to show. Anywhere. I am moving forward in my riding career. Slowly but surely! A few weeks ago, I decided to stop stressing about the fact that I am not where I want to be, and to simply enjoy where I am. It has been liberating! I am actually having fun with riding again. And I am also riding far better than I have in years. Putting too much pressure on myself has been my Achilles heel; for I get so caught up in reaching my goals that I completely forget to relax and enjoy myself – which is the key to riding well.

It has been a struggle to accept that I am not where I want to be.. It doesn’t mean that I will never get there (and it certainly does not mean that I am not going to keep trying). However, I must simply take each day as it comes. Instead of constantly focusing on the big picture, sometimes I need to just take a deep breath and ride the horse I have. Dwelling on what I don’t have is never going to get me anywhere. But accepting where I am right now just might.

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