No Shame in Fear

Well, fall is not off to the best start! The first cooler day, I get bucked off. It was my fault, truthfully. I was asking for a lead change, at the spooky end of the ring, and I was not sitting up. Actually, I was leaning over his shoulder! Needless to say, when he spooked at the ground, I was toast. It felt as though he just flew out from under me.

He ran out of the ring, pulling a shoe. However, I got back on him. We hacked around, did a lead change each way (I sat up this time), and he was fine.

I had to wait a couple of days, for him to get his shoe back on, before I rode him again. When I went back out, I was expecting to be fine. I was a little sore, but I had gotten back on him right after the fall, so I was sure I would not be afraid during my next ride.

Yet, that first day back, I was afraid.

I was afraid of the end of the ring where I had fallen. I was afraid that he would be wild and spooky. I was afraid that something would go wrong again.

I got over it after a couple of rides. I was frustrated with myself that it took a couple of rides to feel like myself again. “Why can’t I just get over it,” I kept asking myself.

Then I realized that it is okay. I am not a naturally brave rider, and it may always take me a couple of days to get my nerve back after a fall. And that’s okay. There is no shame in being afraid sometimes. Trying to hide, or ignore, my fear has caused problems in the past.But admitting my fear has helped me to work through it, and be patient with myself. There was also once a time when it took me weeks to bounce back after a fall, so this is progress!

 

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