Sometimes I get sad the day before I go to work. Days like today. Working now is a day that I do not get to see the horses, since moving back to the big city (okay, it’s a suburb but same difference).
A work day is a day that I don’t get to breathe the fresh air. I breathe in the air circulating through the hospital, that is likely filled with even more cleaning chemicals than it used to be thanks to COVID times. I don’t get the hear the crickets when I get home. Or see fireflies dancing in and around the horse pasture in the twilight. I really miss the fireflies. I miss getting to see the horses for a little bit to say goodnight, and just take it all in.
Now I come home to a dark parking garage, loud traffic, and other city noises. City sounds are just not the same as the gentle country sounds you hear at night like a light summer breeze ruffling through the trees or the crickets carrying on. I’m not sure that I will ever get used to this change.
Today at least was reminiscent of life at the farm. I didn’t ride because Flynn rudely pulled a shoe over the weekend. Since I didn’t ride, I just groomed them in the pasture like I used to. I had to get onto them for not standing still, and digging through my brush box for carrots. Flynn even knocked it over at one point! They competed for my attention, and we took pictures. It felt like how it did back on the farm, and I really needed that feeling.
I don’t know how, or when, but one day I will live on a farm again. One day I will again come home to my horses and fireflies.