Fear of New Beginnings

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As many of you know, Chance has been getting time off due to soundness issues. After three months off, my trainer and I tried to put him back to work but he was still not quite right. So, he is still just hanging out in the pasture doing some “soul searching,” as my trainer and I say! His issues at the beginning of the year were mental, as well as physical. He sort of just shut down, and was not going right, yet we (nor the vet) could not find anything wrong with him. Honestly, I am considering him pretty much retired – at least for now. Whether he ever goes back to work, or not, he has a home with me so all is well, and he is happy as he can be in the pasture!

I am now working out a plan for getting another horse. The plan has always been to get one when my barn and pastures are built at home; however, that hasn’t quite happened yet! Life doesn’t always go according to plan! I may wait on my farm to be ready, or I may get one sooner. Right now, I am exploring my options and really trying to figure out what I want the next step of my riding career to look like. Do I want a young project, or something farther along? Am I okay with training one, or do I want to head straight to the show ring?

Through scouring horse ads, and watching video after video, I have realized that I have a lot of fear surrounding the thought of getting another horse – regardless of how much training it has had. If you have been following this blog for a while, you know that owning Chance has been no picnic! He has challenged me like no other horse. He came to me with so many behavioral issues, some of which he never fully got over. Also, keeping him sound has been struggle for quite some time; and now, he is facing likely retirement at just fourteen.

Don’t get me wrong, I love this horse dearly! I have learned so much from him, and he has truly helped me to become a better horsewoman!

However, I really do not want to go through all of that again with this next horse! I guess what I am feeling is kind of like that fear you get when you are starting a new relationship after a bad breakup! Regardless, I eventually I do have to “get back on the horse” and try again. I love horses far too much to let my fear of history repeating itself control me! I must trust that all of the lessons I have learned with Chance will serve me well with the next horse.

That is the thing about fear. We can let it stop us from moving forward, or we can choose to face it and trust the journey! I am wishing you all a wonderful week!

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